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Bloke walks into a pub with a dog on a lead. He announces to everyone inside that he has a talking dog for sale. Everyone starts laughing at him except for one guy.

He approaches the seller and asks if the dog really does talk. Man says "Oh yeah". Buyer replies "Nah, I'm not having that" To which the dog says "Course I can talk" The man is astounded and asks the seller how long he's had the talking mutt.The dog replies "Since I came back from Iraq, two months ago" Bloke says "You were in Iraq...doing what?" Dog replies "I was with the SAS. I was their undercover dog, if things got too heavy I'd go in first to check things out and report back" The man is astonished and the dog adds "Before that I worked for the fire and rescue service. I'd pull people from burning buildings that the fella's couldn't go into. Before that I was a personal bodyguard to a big businessman and kept all his enemies away from him and before that I was doing missionary work in Africa"

The potential buyer is almost lost for words but manages to ask the dogs owner why he selling him. The bloke replies "I'm sick of all his f*cking lies....it hasn't done any of those things!"

LOL

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