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BANKS TO LEND YOU YOUR OWN MONEY


'I got confused'
THE government is to invest £50bn of your money in British banks so they can lend it back to you with interest.

The historic move is being hailed as a lifeline for the financial system as long as nobody asks too many questions.

Julian Cook, chief economist at Corbett and Barker, said: "The government will give your money to the banks so the banks can start lending you that money, probably at around 7% APR.

"Thanks to all the interest you're paying on your own money, the banks will make billions of pounds again and normality will be restored.

"After a few years of this the government will cash in the bank shares it bought with your money and use the profits to build a huge fucking dome somewhere."

He added: "In case you hadn't already worked it out - the entire global financial system is predicated on the assumption that you're an idiot."

Chancellor Alistair Darling said the decision had been taken in tandem with the banking industry, adding: "They used a lot of dirty words I'd never heard before and one of them had an angry looking dog."

Meanwhile, Emma Bradford, a sales manager from Bath, said: "Why doesn't the government just give my money to me so I can buy stuff from businesses who will then make a profit and put it in a bank?"

But Mr Darling insisted: "Shut up."

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Breitling Super Avenger White, Steel
Breitling Superocean Heritage 46 Black, Ocean Racer
Rolex Submariner Bi-Metal, Yellow Gold/Blue
Panerai 112, Black Leather (Soon Hopefully!)

Damien - why did you post this in the "Funnies" section.

I never read newspapers because this is the kind of crap they print. I HATE our politicians - just a bunch of spongers with their noses in the trough (which we have to keep full for them).

I dearly love my country but hate the way it's going - nanny state etc - I'd dearly leave tomorrow.

Now look - you've started me off!

As a penance and for hijacking your thread with my rambling I'll post a funny to compensate.

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Aerospace Titanium & Gold - Grey Face
B-1 on Fighter/Blue Shark - Blue Face
Emergency on Pro - Yellow Face

To complete the collection:
Navi 01 46/Black leather - Black/white
Montbrillant Datora/Navi - White face


LEARNING.......EVERY DAY

BB
Read it again, it's a spoof

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Breitling Super Avenger White, Steel
Breitling Superocean Heritage 46 Black, Ocean Racer
Rolex Submariner Bi-Metal, Yellow Gold/Blue
Panerai 112, Black Leather (Soon Hopefully!)

Yes Damian I did realise that - however it's pretty close to the truth.

That's the sad part!

I suppose it was only the serious bits which were true - might as well laugh at the situation I guess 'cos otherwise, well..........

_________________
Aerospace Titanium & Gold - Grey Face
B-1 on Fighter/Blue Shark - Blue Face
Emergency on Pro - Yellow Face

To complete the collection:
Navi 01 46/Black leather - Black/white
Montbrillant Datora/Navi - White face


LEARNING.......EVERY DAY