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 Post subject: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Sun Dec 18, 2011 11:16 am 
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Kulula is a low-cost South-African airline that doesn't take itself too seriously.

And have a read about their Customer Relations.

WHAT A PITY KULULA DOESN'T FLY INTERNATIONALLY - WE SHOULD SUPPORT THEM IF ONLY FOR THEIR HUMOUR - SO TYPICALLY SOUTH AFRICAN.


Kulula is an Airline with head office situated in Johannesburg . Kulula airline attendants make an effort to make the in-flight "safety lecture" and announcements a bit more entertaining.

Here are some real examples that have been heard or reported:

On a Kulula flight, (there is no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced,
"People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

-----

On landing, the stewardess said,
"Please be sure to take all of your belongings.. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

-----

"There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this airplane."

-----

"Thank you for flying Kulula. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

-----

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Durban Airport , a lone voice came over the loudspeaker:
"Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

-----

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in the Karoo , a flight attendant on a flight announced,
"Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

-----

From a Kulula employee:
"Welcome aboard Kulula 271 to Port Elizabeth . To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."

-----

"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child travelling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.

If you are travelling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."

-----

"Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Kulula Airlines."

-----

"Your seats cushions can be used for flotation; and in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

-----
"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses.."

-----

And from the pilot during his welcome message:
"Kulula Airlines is pleased to announce that we have some of the best flight attendants in the industry. Unfortunately, none of them are on this flight!"

-----

Heard on Kulula 255 just after a very hard landing in Cape Town : The flight attendant came on the intercom and said,
"That was quite a bump and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it wasn't the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt."

-----
Overheard on a Kulula flight into Cape Town , on a particularly windy and bumpy day: During the final approach, the Captain really had to fight it. After an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to The Mother City. Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!"

-----

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing: "We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the terminal."

-----

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile, and give them a
"Thanks for flying our airline". He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in
the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment.

Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane.

She said, "Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?"
"Why, no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?"
The little old lady said, "Did we land, or were we shot down?"

-----

After a real crusher of a landing in Johannesburg , the attendant came on with,
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Captain Crash and the Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And, once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we will open the door and you can pick your way through the wreckage to the terminal.."

-----

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement:
"We'd like to thank you folks for flying with us today.. And, the next time you get the insane urge to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope you'll think of Kulula Airways."

-----

Heard on a Kulula flight:
"Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing. If you can light 'em, you can smoke 'em."

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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 7:35 am 
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Never flown with them, but they sound great! Good read. :thumbsup:

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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Mon Dec 19, 2011 12:54 pm 
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Old quotes, adapted to Kulula at the present case, but always a pleasure to review them.

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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Fri Jan 06, 2012 4:03 pm 
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Never thought I'd be posting these pics I downloaded a few years ago on here but delighted to share!

Never been to SA or flown on Kulula but the way they paint their aircraft really appeals to me. :D

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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 4:31 am 
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Thanks for sharing Sharkie. This is the famous "Flying 101" livery on this ex-Axis example but Kulula has awarded us with quite a few others with "This Way Up" a classic:

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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Sat Jan 07, 2012 5:12 pm 
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Love "This Way Up" :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 11:17 am 
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That's just all round funny. Nice to see something different.

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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 12:06 pm 
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I would love to fly with those guys!
Back in my day.....tail gunner performed stewardess duties.

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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Tue Jan 10, 2012 11:29 pm 
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Twotone540 wrote:
I would love to fly with those guys!
Back in my day.....tail gunner performed stewardess duties.


With mini skirts in camo? :twisted:

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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Wed Jan 11, 2012 7:04 am 
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No mini...Paper bag w/ sandwich,apple or orange and a hot Coke or cold coffee.
Those were the days....

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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Sun Mar 23, 2014 12:26 pm 
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Live in SA and have heard a couple of these comments when flying with them - most flights one of the crew members come up with a wise comment - always entertaining.


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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 6:54 am 
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Cebu Pacific is a budget airline operating out of Philippines.
I like the way they get passengers attention to the safety announcement :-)

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=5u49QgFwVEQ

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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Mon Mar 24, 2014 8:20 am 
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Here is a cool one from the cockpit:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jtf4Zma8kMU

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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 7:56 am 
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This one is an absolute classic :-)

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DYA_ivyj3kE

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 Post subject: Re: this cracked me up
PostPosted: Tue Mar 25, 2014 8:00 am 
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Loving them, tnx for the laugh. ;)


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